Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!
By royal decree, We2 are officially granting titles to the Netizens and Visiting Dignitaries of our fair Domain, LdyAlcestisville.3
If you wish to be noted as an Important Titled Person with Unusual Hat4 or otherwise recorded as a Netizen5 of LdyAlcestisville or Visiting Dignitary, please make your request before the high court, or here today, so that it may be recorded for posterity and sent on to circlek tonight, or in the morning.
Do note that the inclusion of the word(s) "Master," "Mistress" or "Flubbydub" in your title grants you access to the sex slaves we have set aside for you, of which we have exactly one.6 You may provide your own title, should you wish it.
So it is
*strikes a haughty, regal pose*
*exhales, drops the pose and wanders off to get her own darned drink!*
1 Opening fanfare! On kazoos!
2 "We" meaning "me" and/or alcestis; Bringers of Light, Eaters of Lotuses, Opiates of the Masses, CoQueens Ldy and Alcestis of the Peaceful and Prosperous United Domain of LdyAlcestisville, Inc. (Bizarre title subject to change without notice.)
3 It only looks like Loyalcestisville.
4 Hats not included.
5 Including, but not limited to, sex slaves, dancing naked people, jesters, drink-fetchers and the like.
6 elsnaibs is gonna be a busy, busy guy!
7 Closing fanfare! On kazoos!
z In other news,