pageeater's journal :) (And later adjusted and added, because I'm such a stickler for accuracy, and a glutton for punishment!)In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: Each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second line, 5 in the third line. They are used to communicate a
timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.
Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan. Below, the essence of Zen.
| Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone. The Web site you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much. Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. First snow, then silence. This thousand-dollar screen dies So beautifully. With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. | The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao until You bring fresh toner. Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred. You step in the stream, But the water has moved on. This page is not here. Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. |
---------------------
Now, following are the winners of a contest from Salon.
| Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. -- David Dixon Everything is gone; Your life's work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? -- David Carlson I'm sorry, there's -- um -- insufficient -- what's-it-called? The term eludes me ... -- Owen Mathews Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. -- Peter Rothman Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again -- Chris Walsh The code was willing, It considered your request, But the chips were weak. -- Barry L. Brumitt Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have a pen handy? -- Pat Davis A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. -- David J. Liszewski Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why. Lazy programmers. -- Charlie Gibbs Server's poor response Not quick enough for browser. Timed out, plum blossom. -- Rik Jespersen Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. -- Suzie Wagner Login incorrect. Only perfect spellers may enter this system. -- Jason Axley This site has been moved. We'd tell you where, but then we'd have to delete you. -- Charles Matthews wind catches lily scatt'ring petals to the wind: segmentation fault -- Nick Sweeney ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much. -- Mike Hagler First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. -- Simon Firth | With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. -- Howard Korder The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. -- Bill Torcaso The Web site you seek cannot be located but endless others exist -- Joy Rothke Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down -- David Ansel A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. -- James Lopez There is a chasm of carbon and silicon the software can't bridge -- Rahul Sonnad Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that -- Margaret Segall To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy -- Brian M. Porter You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. -- Cass Whittington No keyboard present Hit F1 to continue Zen engineering? -- Jim Griffith Hal, open the file Hal, open the damn file, Hal open the, please Hal -- Jennifer Jo Lane Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. -- Francis Heaney Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. -- Judy Birmingham The ten thousand things How long do any persist? Netscape, too, has gone. -- Jason Willoughby Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found." -- Len Dvorkin Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. -- Ian Hughes |
Very similar, although some are quite different.
Whether the email rune received was a deliberate hoax, or merely the result of a child's game of operator is unknown. But I think some of the ones there are even more elegant than Salon's winners.
not immune to the beauty,
the truth that is zen
Happy Spring, Moonpies :)
First of Spring my ass/It's snowing like crazy here/Nature is laughing
