*smooch* (ldy) wrote,
*smooch*
ldy

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Permission granted/what you call "plagiarism"/is merely sharing :)

Copied shamelessly (and with permission) from pageeater's journal :) (And later adjusted and added, because I'm such a stickler for accuracy, and a glutton for punishment!)

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In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: Each poem has only 17 syllables; 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second line, 5 in the third line. They are used to communicate a
timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan. Below, the essence of Zen.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


---------------------


Now, following are the winners of a contest from Salon.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
-- David Carlson

I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...
-- Owen Mathews

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again
-- Chris Walsh

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
-- Barry L. Brumitt

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
-- Pat Davis

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
-- Charlie Gibbs

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
-- Rik Jespersen

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.
-- Jason Axley

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.
-- Charles Matthews

wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault
-- Nick Sweeney

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
-- Simon Firth
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
-- Joy Rothke

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
-- David Ansel

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
-- James Lopez

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge
-- Rahul Sonnad

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
-- Margaret Segall

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
-- Brian M. Porter

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
-- Jim Griffith

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal
-- Jennifer Jo Lane

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
-- Jason Willoughby

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
-- Len Dvorkin

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes


Very similar, although some are quite different.

Whether the email rune received was a deliberate hoax, or merely the result of a child's game of operator is unknown. But I think some of the ones there are even more elegant than Salon's winners.

Even email hoax
not immune to the beauty,
the truth that is zen


Happy Spring, Moonpies :)

First of Spring my ass/It's snowing like crazy here/Nature is laughing
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