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differentiation, exploring the rate of change - Ldy, the lemony, ligerish ducttaparian's Magic Treehouse of Lost Thoughts
A classy broad's life... with footnotes.
differentiation, exploring the rate of change
Very cranky, tired of the status quo.

Needing a vacation from all of this *wild indicative hand-waving*

Tired of being a convenience when people think they need or want stuff, and an inconvenience when they don't. When are things convenient for me? Ever?

No. Not really.

Nothing really changes, except insofar as entropy acts upon a given system.

Farking entropy.

Farking people.

The needy get attention, the obnoxious get results, and the useful get used. That's just the way things are.*

I'm old enough to know this. Getting older all the time.**

I'd wanted to go to karaoke, but it's too late to go anywhere tonight; I've got a rough morning ahead of me tomorrow. Tomorrow night I've got playhouse work to do. I'm working Friday night, then have to catch what sleep I can because Saturday's schedule is full with a parental visit in the morning, rehearsal in the afternoon and P's return in the evening.

Back I go to trying to find Crazylady's divorce papers so she can go marry Randomguy. Papers that P is CONVINCED are in the safe even though I've scanned every paper in there. "Well, last time you said you couldn't find something, I found it... I know it can be very frustrating when you don't know what it is you're looking for..."

Seriously? I'm doing your ex-wife a favour on your behalf and you think long-distance condescension is appropriate? Please, not today.

Just... tired. Tired and lonely and fed-up with people and situations and places that don't change, myself included.

Ah. Well, at least I found the papers. They were in an unchangeable box of unchangeable papers by an unchangeable bookcase. If you want to study quantum mechanics in a fixed setting, there's no better place than my office right now ;)

Bah. I guess I'll have a small glass of wine and call it a night.

I realize this sort of outburst is uncharacteristic of me. I'm usually pretty upbeat and silly, not uptight and bitchy. But this is where I find myself right now.

For all my frustration, things DO change; if not by force of will, then by entropy. Things tend to stay in their current motion or fall apart unless acted upon by another force. In addition to all the unchangeableness in my world, I also see a lot of fallingapartedness, too. This, however, is somehow not comforting.

Actually, all this talk suddenly has me curious about how entropy specifically applies to quantum theory (iirc, entropy is usually described as a function of a state, so how interesting might it be to explore how it might apply to a state of many states? I'm thinking pretty frickin' interesting!). So in true "ooh, shiny!" ADD manner, I'm going to quitmybitchin and go study something weird on a random tangent, like I so often do.

And oh yeah, grab that glass of wine.

~Hugs to those who need 'em, those who want 'em and those who don't run away quickly enough (and those, like me, who seem to be having difficulty measuring their position and their momentum with any accuracy)~

* OK, I don't actually believe this to be wholly true, though it certainly does hold a grain or three of truth and may be worth review.
** And yet, I'm still six.
*** "Have faith, little mouse," the Universe coos, "this, too, shall pass." Yeah? Ya think? Sorry, but my inner New Yorker and my inner scientist are both rather skeptical of this whole Universe-pointing-in-a-certain-direction thing, and my inner spiritual chick is about to pass out from exhaustion. Give me a sign, preferably neon, and less of this "trust me" cooing, k? I'm gettin' cranky here!
**** P says "You may be crankypants tonight, but at least you're a size four crankypants. There must be some comfort in that mumble mumble blah blah blah." So true, so true... except for the last part you said, which was pretty much unintelligible.
***** Boys? Still dumb. Or so seems the consensus. Though some may be merely unintelligible, I suppose.
4 tall tales or Tell me a story
discodoris From: discodoris Date: November 5th, 2009 08:04 am (UTC) (permalink)
Even the most positive of us has down, bitchy, cranky moments and it's great to see you letting it out in a safe way via LJ - I've been doing much the same with a combination of online venting spaces - Twitter, FB and LJ, since the amount of poo that the Universe has flung at me recently seems to be disproportionally high. However, I've had a charmed couple of years, so maybe it was just storing it up for me. Also, yay for a size four - I think that that's a size eight here, although I don't think that they map directly. I still have a lardy arse as well as going through a whole load of stress that I wasn't expecting. Although, not quite as lardy as it was six weeks ago :) And thank heavens for a lively mind that can be distracted with the pursuit of further knowledge! Chin up, ducks <3
antinomic From: antinomic Date: November 5th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC) (permalink)
The papers in the bookcase? All explained by "Mach's Conjecture". see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mach's_principle

As I don't have the math to understand it fully, I think it says that your local situation is controlled by conditions elsewhere in the universe. Sort of.

Well, I hope I got a smile out of you.
hitchhiker From: hitchhiker Date: November 5th, 2009 08:37 pm (UTC) (permalink)
ellie From: ellie Date: November 6th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC) (permalink)
Ldy, sadly I have realized that boys never really grow up to be men anymore. And I've also realized that if a man is 30 and single, there is a terrible reason why.
4 tall tales or Tell me a story