First off, there were only about ten of us doing an audition song (there were auditions last night as well, and they only make you do a song once... I couldn't make it last night). I chose a song from 1941-- Bewitched (Bothered & Bewildered) from Pal Joey-- figuring that nobody else would possibly do it.
Wouldn't you know the woman directly in front of me did the same song?!
Then I sang. I had told the accompaniest that I was singing the words I had pencilled in instead of the printed words, but I must not have been clear, because he stopped playing about ten notes in. He gave me a stern talking to afterward, too. Oh, and I'm apparently allergic to the new cat, because my nose was running off my face and my throat was all scratchy.
If that weren't bad enough, I danced like... well... someone who has not only ever danced before, but who has never even seen dancing. We had to learn a rather complicated and very fast dance in the lobby, and then perform it in groups of four onstage. At least there I was in good company... everyone in my little group forgot the third series of steps. We literally just froze and stood there like deer in headlights for eight beats and then stumbled on. Hooray for unintentional conspiracies!
Oh, and I couldn't even dance in my character shoes because the lobby floor is stone tile, and I was sliding around like my brain on drugs on a teflon griddle.
I honestly think the only reason they didn't kick me out after the song and dance audition is because I know the stage manager (and she knows, or at least believes, perhaps erroneously, that I can sing and dance better than that). Good lord.
Oh, and there were two Carolyns there (OK, there were actually four, if you counted the two kids) so I kept getting confused as to when to read. So I'm sure I looked like an idiot, too. A scratchy-throated, tone-deaf, can't-follow-directions, broken-legged idiot.
At least I read well, I think... though I didn't get the opportunity to review the piece we were reading (it was the part where Nancy becomes hysterical trying to protect Oliver), so I didn't vary my levels as well as I'd have liked to. And when I got to sing for Nancy, I think I sang OK (like a character actress, which I am, instead of a singer, which I ain't).
Oh. And the person I was up against? The Queen of the Theatre. I don't mean that in a bad way-- it's just that she's quite literally a Broadway-calibur singer, dancer AND actor, and has been intimately involved with that theater for many years. Hello, triple threat? Meet tripping bête.
It's pretty safe to say that Nancy's straight out, and I probably didn't even get a chorus role.
You know what, though? I'd do it again. Yes I would. (Heh-- maybe this attitude is simply supporting evidence that I really AM a slow learner!) ;)
So, my night was a comedy of errors. Hey... at least it was a comedy, right?
I certainly hope someone Up There is laughingjhuuuuuuu8i9
Btw, that last bit was courtesy of The New Cat (tentatively named "Switch" by Zack), who is now curled up on my desk.
I'm going to go drown my giddy sorrows in a nice glass of wine and watch a little TV. I hope your Life is Beautiful today and always!