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How badly did I suck? This badly! :D - Ldy, the lemony, ligerish ducttaparian's Magic Treehouse of Lost Thoughts
A classy broad's life... with footnotes.
How badly did I suck? This badly! :D
Tonight's audition was a comedy of errors for me.

First off, there were only about ten of us doing an audition song (there were auditions last night as well, and they only make you do a song once... I couldn't make it last night). I chose a song from 1941-- Bewitched (Bothered & Bewildered) from Pal Joey-- figuring that nobody else would possibly do it.

Wouldn't you know the woman directly in front of me did the same song?!

Then I sang. I had told the accompaniest that I was singing the words I had pencilled in instead of the printed words, but I must not have been clear, because he stopped playing about ten notes in. He gave me a stern talking to afterward, too. Oh, and I'm apparently allergic to the new cat, because my nose was running off my face and my throat was all scratchy.

If that weren't bad enough, I danced like... well... someone who has not only ever danced before, but who has never even seen dancing. We had to learn a rather complicated and very fast dance in the lobby, and then perform it in groups of four onstage. At least there I was in good company... everyone in my little group forgot the third series of steps. We literally just froze and stood there like deer in headlights for eight beats and then stumbled on. Hooray for unintentional conspiracies!

Oh, and I couldn't even dance in my character shoes because the lobby floor is stone tile, and I was sliding around like my brain on drugs on a teflon griddle.

I honestly think the only reason they didn't kick me out after the song and dance audition is because I know the stage manager (and she knows, or at least believes, perhaps erroneously, that I can sing and dance better than that). Good lord.

Oh, and there were two Carolyns there (OK, there were actually four, if you counted the two kids) so I kept getting confused as to when to read. So I'm sure I looked like an idiot, too. A scratchy-throated, tone-deaf, can't-follow-directions, broken-legged idiot.

At least I read well, I think... though I didn't get the opportunity to review the piece we were reading (it was the part where Nancy becomes hysterical trying to protect Oliver), so I didn't vary my levels as well as I'd have liked to. And when I got to sing for Nancy, I think I sang OK (like a character actress, which I am, instead of a singer, which I ain't).

Oh. And the person I was up against? The Queen of the Theatre. I don't mean that in a bad way-- it's just that she's quite literally a Broadway-calibur singer, dancer AND actor, and has been intimately involved with that theater for many years. Hello, triple threat? Meet tripping bête.

It's pretty safe to say that Nancy's straight out, and I probably didn't even get a chorus role.

You know what, though? I'd do it again. Yes I would. (Heh-- maybe this attitude is simply supporting evidence that I really AM a slow learner!) ;)

So, my night was a comedy of errors. Hey... at least it was a comedy, right?

I certainly hope someone Up There is laughingjhuuuuuuu8i9

Btw, that last bit was courtesy of The New Cat (tentatively named "Switch" by Zack), who is now curled up on my desk.

I'm going to go drown my giddy sorrows in a nice glass of wine and watch a little TV. I hope your Life is Beautiful today and always!

~Hugs to those who need 'em, those who want 'em, and those who don't run away quickly enough~

I'm feeling all kinds of: Hahaha, wow, I suck! :D
What I hear: Oliver songs, in my head

5 tall tales or Tell me a story
lomer From: lomer Date: August 27th, 2007 04:19 am (UTC) (permalink)
Oh hon! *hugs* I'm sorry the audition didn't go as planned. I'm surprised someone sang the same song as you since I don't think I've heard that one before! I mean it'd be different if you sang "All that Jazz". Freakin' EVERYONE sings that song.

I'll cross my fingers for you.

One of my worst auditions involved me freaking out quietly before going on and then singing a inappropriate-age song (high school is a little old to sing "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Mis, but it was the only thing I could think of!). I sang it LOUDLY, but incredibly badly and acapella. I also forgot the words. I don't even want to go into cold readings. It was spectacular in it's badness. *g* Bad auditions happen. It's like jelly bellys. If you eat them by the handful, eventually one combo of flavors will make you want to puke. ... um maybe that wasn't the best analogy, but I really wanted to work jelly bellys into this conversation. *g*
kodakrome From: kodakrome Date: August 27th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC) (permalink)
life is pretty beautiful always.
echo_off From: echo_off Date: August 27th, 2007 02:30 pm (UTC) (permalink)
>> We literally just froze and stood there like deer in headlights for eight beats and then stumbled on. Hahaha I can totally picture that :D

At least the The New Cat seems to want to share in your computer interests :D
echo_off From: echo_off Date: August 27th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC) (permalink)
FWIW, if he's a computer cat you might consider calling him Widget ;)
mauracelt From: mauracelt Date: August 27th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC) (permalink)
Sorry, hun. I have to laugh at all of this, includung the "Widget" thing. I have just had one of the worst months of my Life and this is just gravy for me. Like I need gravy after finding out that I'm Another 5 pounds heavier. *crosses eyes* The dietician is on drugs if she thinks I'm staying on this idiot diet she's given me, I keep gaining, not losing!

Hope your friend here (points up) and your friend at the theater are both patient folks and hold nothing against you for the interuptions of odd humans. Maybe there was a good reason for your troubles last night, beyond the fact that you have a few little allergies, eh? *HUG* Break a leg anyway, I know you can do better than the aud's showed them. ;)
5 tall tales or Tell me a story