at five thirty in the morning
and s t u m b l e d toward the washroom
to find the full moon
pouring reflected sunlight
sublimely on my can.
OK, it was probably a lot more beautiful before I introduced the whole toilet theme.
The full moon was amazing, though. I didn't have my glasses on (my eyesight's horrible), so there was just this big beautiful blurry orb of light shining down on me.
I should wake up at 5:30 more often.
Depression is an especially sucky disease, imo, because the desire and ability to combat it are nearly incapacitated by virtue of simply having the disease.
So, yeah; it's occurred to me that I've been severely depressed for months now, and just in denial about it.
The fact that I had a full blown MSG attack the other night didn't help (my first in two years). Hanging out in my PJs for the last two days hasn't helped either. Well, actually, that did help. It helped me to recognize it.
Stuff that's helping:
This stuff really does help, though I wouldn't take more than one a day, or any past, say, 3pm.
We've also switched to a straight omega 3 instead of the 3/6/9 mix I'd been using. It will take some time to feel any real difference (if there is a difference to be felt).
These multivitamins are really quite nice, too-- one a day seems to be making a noticable difference. Much better than the old ones I was taking! Between these and the Mind Power, I'm buzzing along quite nicely, thank you very much. Energy-- what a concept!
Feeding my head
I keep forgetting how important the GIGO theory of happiness is. You are what you eat, what you hear, what you read, what you think...
A Native American grandfather is talking to his young grandson.
He tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him, struggling with each other.
The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness.
The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred.
"Which wolf will win, grandfather?" asks the young boy.
"Whichever one I feed," is the reply.
Stuff that would help if I actually did it:
OK, I haven't gone anywhere with this one. I really need to get out of the house more, with or without Paul. Hm... where to go? What to do? I'm going to push for a beach weekend this coming weekend... dig out the kites and trashy books and relax :)
Well, I did have that one gig last week, so that's a start. Maybe I could start up an improv group or something. Acting + friends = happy fun ldy (do not taunt happy fun ldy).
Now that I finally have energy again, I'm going to go to the gym :)
In fact, let's up that ante. I'm going to the gym TONIGHT :D
On a completely different topic, sometimes it's important to spell with zombies.
I indulged my threadless.com urge today:
$10 each! Can't beat that with a stick.
I also considered getting this one:
Ask Me How I Became a Pirate!
But figured the graphic placement and shirt colour wouldn't suit me...
And this one:
But seriously, I'd rarely wear it in public. Maybe if I weren't quite so much a mom :)
Yesterday, I wasn't feeling well and figured we'd just have some hot dogs for dinner, so Paul offered to run to the corner store for hot dog buns and ginger ale. He called me from the supermarket "Pat's didn't have buns, so I went to Publix-- anything else while I'm here?"
Oooh, relish. Yeah :)
An hour later he comes home, and shows me his catch. Several different cheeses! Roast turkey for lunch! Bagels and cream cheese for breakfast! Sweet sweet relish! Bread! Two different kinds of ice cream!
So, we start making dinner. "Where's the buns, hon?"
He paled. "They would still be in the grocery store aisle where I did not get them."
"And the ginger ale?"
He paled further. His face drooped.
"I'm gonna be in your journal again, aren't I."
Ummmmmm... noooooo, hoooooooney...
I really do love that man :)
the phonebook's been ripped off
and two shapes in the dark
across the way know the price of flight
its weight and size
if you've got something
that sheds some light
use it tonight, tonight
Digging this song. Thanks for sharing, gefiltebitch!
OK, I have tons of stuff to do, so off I go.
~Hugs to those who need 'em, those who want 'em, and those who don't run away quickly enough~