*smooch* (ldy) wrote,
*smooch*
ldy

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The tooth, the whole tooth, nuthin' but the tooth (yeah, right)

I got my teeth cleaned today!!

:: does the happy clean teeth dance ::

I only have one cavity... and that's not really a cavity yet (though it likely will be by the time I see the dentist again in April). Not bad, considering how heavy I'd been laying on that forgotten food group: the Sugar-laden Non-cigarette Group.

Altoids, Tootsie Roll Pops and Jolly Ranchers, oh my!


I love having my teeth cleaned. It really feels good. Even when it hurts a bit. I sometimes wonder if this is normal. I like the feeling of having my nails a little too short, too.

*Gasp* Maybe I'm a masochist!

Hmm... let's look at the data, shall we?

She hard codes everything (but her journal) into xhtml, despite the fact that xhtml isn't (yet) a standard
She likes old infocom games, the more disjointed, the better
She wraps tangents into small little footnotes and hides them away
She uses windows pretty much exclusively, even though it crashes on her daily

Well, well, well... Data doesn't lie.W

The windows usage alone is enough to qualify, I think.

Oh, and while we're on that subject... here's that penis songX

Penis Envy

If I had a penis I'd wear it outside
In cafes and car lots with pomp and with pride
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper

If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys on Thanksgiving Day

I'd rival my buddies in sports cars and stick shifts
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners I'd soap it and oil it

If I had a penis I'd run to my mother
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother
I'd lance her, I'd knight her my hands would indulge
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge

A penis to plunder a penis to push
'Cause one in the handa is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me a penis to share
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

I'd sit like a boy I'd straddle the chair
I'd play with my fly (albeit with care)
I'd dip it in chocolate I'd stick it in sockets
I'd stroll to the movies with hands deep in pockets

I'd stick in vacuums on vacant verandahs
Gas guzzling Volvos And poodles and pandas
In puddles and drainpipes in doggies and ditches
Pool halls and potholes and bottles and bitches
Zucchinis and zebras tomatoes, tomatoes
In pineapples, pumpkins and gulches and grottos
In melons and marshmallows gloves and gorillas
Slurpies and slippers chinooks and chinchillas

A penis to plunder a penis to push
'Cause one in the handa is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me a penis to share
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

If I had a penis I'd climb every mountain
I'd force it on females I'd pee like a fountain
If I had a penis I'd still be a girl
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world...

--Uncle Bonsai


While I might appear to be masochist, it's really more likely that I'm just delusional and quite balmy. I mean, sure, lots of women lie about their age... but how many women do you know who lie about their age in the single digits?Y

Yes, I suspect I'm more "stark raving,Z" than masochistic. And I've come to the conclusion that I can't follow a single thought to its logical conclusion without picking up itty bitty thought fragments along the way.

It would really help if I could defrag my brain.

Brain backup would be a good thing, too. And brain optimazation would be sweet! Yes, please knock the theme to Welcome Back Kotter back a few notches, and bring up those important phone numbers to a place where they're handy. And please stop writing the correct spelling of the words occasional and Episcopalian to bad sectors. Thank you.

Heheh... just after jotting down this sentiment, I received a phone call from the Mysterious Mr. EMan reminding me of a surprise dinner birthday thing this evening-- which had COMPLETELY and UTTERLY slipped my mind :P

AAAAGH!! MY BRAIN'S BEEN FRAGGED!

ERROR: No respawn point defined.

D'oh.¥


W And he doesn't use contractions, either. Except in that one episode. Or wait-- no, I think that was his "brother," Lor. Or maybe it was the future, and he had gotten a much-needed upgrade. Oh, who cares. Brent Spiner's da man... er, fully-functional android... er, talented star of musical theatre. Yeah.

X Why do I always associate the word "Micro$haft" with the word "dick"? Yes, I said "dick." "Dick," "dick," "dick." If this is your name, I am sorry if I've worn it out.

Y A: probably none. I don't lie. Well, that's not really true. See? If I lied, I wouldn't have said that it's not really true that I don't lie! *disappears in a poof of logic*

Z ...though there seem to be those who wish I'd leave off at the stark part. Maybe they want to make some snow angels? Yes, that must be it. :)

¥ Heheh... and just after writing that, the Lovely Miss M called to remind me about the dinner. I just love how my friends take care of me... ;)

I don't have anything really yum for the secret footnote. So, just imagine yourself on top of a mountain on a beautiful island. The air is crisp and clean, the sun is shining, the birds are singing-- it's a beautiful day! Soon you will appease the gods as you are ceremoniously thrown off the top of the mountain into the middle of the mountain, and everyone will love you, you sexy, lucky lava babe, you! Bon voyage!
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