*smooch* (ldy) wrote,

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This isn't pool, this isn't chess, stop thinking ten moves ahead and live in the moment little girl

Jeez, you'd think that would be the LAST thing I would have to remind a five-year old!


I have the world's sexiest vaccuum cleaner. I really do! It's red, sporty, has a working headlight1, on-board tools, and is whisper quiet


I should give it a little push more often. Eventually, it will get tired of waiting for me to appreciate it and will leave me for some other dust-bunny rancher.

Oh, and I should be rich any day now, the way these dust bunnies are a multiplyin'... yee-haw!!

Yes, I have a thing for sexy tools and hardware. Might as well come clean about it now.

Point of fact: ~Oh, I love my pretty little Estwing~


I first saw it, oh, it had to be around ten years ago.
"WHOA!" I exclaimed, "that's one DAMN SEXY HAMMER!"2
I bought it on the spot, even though I could ill afford it...
and despite the people pointing at the girl going gaga over the SEXY hammer.

What can I say. I was smitten. A damn sight better than some silly old drill (imo) ;)
I think Estwing should change their marketing byline to:
"Estwing-- Damn Sexy Hammers since DATE"

or at least
"Estwing-- how could you nail with anything less?"

Oh, the more I look at what turns me on, the less I worry about other people. Give me a Damn Sexy Hammer and a Whispering Vaccuum Cleaner and I'm giddy like a schoolgirl, teeheehee. Perhaps by recognizing my love for these things, I'll actually GET SOMETHING DONE AROUND THE HOUSE.

Yeah, and maybe the dustbunnies will form a union.

Aw, heck, it was worth a try. Right?

So... I've gone from being a sweet innocent five to talking about my lust for inanimate objects. Is this the delirium that results from a sudden icon change? Or was it all due to... Lakme's Smooochie? Maybe it was Nancy Sinatra's boots. Or maybe... just maybe... it's a Horse of a Different Colour.

Whatever it was3, it's got me feeling very Weissish.

Main Entry: Weissish
Pronunciation: 'wIs-ish
Function: adjective
Date: 1975
: of, or relating to, Janet Weiss, innocence on the verge of a sexual revolution (or a terrific acting career); or of coming out of the rain only to exclaim that one is wet.
See also: Currificatious, Currification.

You tell me!

~In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
Burning bright---there's a guiding star
No matter what or who you are~

Oh, don't get your hopes up. I'm just being weissrd. It's likely an early pre-mid-life crisis. 5 is a tough age!

Now, give me back my swoony hammer before I break out that cat-toy again *ca-crack*

Oh, but you'd like that, wouldn't you... ; )

1 I got my headlights fixed. The bulbs just needed replacing! D'OH! Ended up costing me four times as much than if I had just bought and replaced them myself. Windows recently tried to teach me the lesson of not fretting, and just replacing bad parts... but I didn't listen then or now. Woulda, shoulda... Well, at least they're fixed, aligned, and the wires have all been checked.
2 Y'know... it was a local store, and the neighbors didn't much care for me after that. I had always wondered why. I don't go to that store anymore.
3 Yes, I know exactly what it was. No, I'm not telling you.
4 My email is wacky again, but Miss Smarty Pants will likely get her Poo Poo Face... just you wait!! And extra credit to those of you who know the meaning behind the letters I used for the filename for the RHPS image : )

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