I sometimes kid myself I'm grand:
lovely, witty and enlightened--
'til I find myself in stay-puft land:
pasty, overweight, and frightened.

There are few sights more distressing--
pray you never see it clearer--
than the sight of oneself undressing
naked, in a three-way mirror.


Whoever invented flourescent lighting is the debil.

I'm feeling all kinds of: Victoria's Secret still robbed me blind
What I hear: ...just not blind enough!