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Subservient Chicken - Ldy, the lemony, ligerish ducttaparian's Magic Treehouse of Lost Thoughts
A classy broad's life... with footnotes.
Subservient Chicken
Weird marketing ploy from Burger King, for when "your way" calls for submissive poultry.

I do not even have the words to describe how disturbing this is.


(via boingboing)

* On a technical note, the parser is surprisingly good-- "Defenestrate the red chair" leads to portrayed confusion, then standing on the red chair, and "shake it like a poloroid picture" leads to booty shaking that is different from the plain "dance" command. "Choke the chicken" leads to a bow, though. Not sure why.
** On another technical note, he's a lousy sub-- "Please me" leads to nothing but utter refusal. Colour me disappointed at my complete lack of chicken pleasuring!
*** Want to be a subservient chicken rooster thing, too? There's a mask you can print out and wear.

I'm feeling all kinds of: Finally, a corporate competitor in the furry poultry fetish site arena!
What I hear: Shake it like a poloroid picture!

12 tall tales or Tell me a story
alcestis From: alcestis Date: April 8th, 2004 07:21 am (UTC) (permalink)
When I told him to "masturbate" he came up to the camera and gave me the "shame on you" finger gesture.
ldy From: ldy Date: April 8th, 2004 07:26 am (UTC) (permalink)
"Go f*** yourself" got the same response.

We must be pretty sick to ask him to do that.

I WISH I were going to fantasm. I'd totally rent a chicken suit, just for the in-joke!
alcestis From: alcestis Date: April 8th, 2004 07:28 am (UTC) (permalink)
Yeah... I'm beginning to wonder why I asked a chicken to masturbate for me. There's something seriously wrong here!
alcestis From: alcestis Date: April 8th, 2004 07:27 am (UTC) (permalink)
However... when I ask it to "defenestrate the red chair" the chicken goes to the chair, begins humping the chair, and then a black box with white text pops up saying that the chicken may be performing acts unsuitable for younger audiences. When I tried it again, he beat the red chair with a pillow. And then when I tried it again (yeah, I can't help myself) he walked to the red couch, sat down, then turned around and started pecking at it.

Someone needs to buy the subservient chicken a dictionary.
ldy From: ldy Date: April 8th, 2004 12:12 pm (UTC) (permalink)
I agree!

Sorry I didn't get back to you last night-- I got out of Amanda's party later than I'd hoped. I loved your message! :D
From: tk7602 Date: April 8th, 2004 07:33 am (UTC) (permalink)
that is so deeply, deeply disturbing.
jeep_guy From: jeep_guy Date: April 8th, 2004 08:09 am (UTC) (permalink)
I'm sorry. Did you say something? I was just staring at your icon.
ldy From: ldy Date: April 8th, 2004 12:10 pm (UTC) (permalink)
<charliebrown>WAAA WAAA WA WA WA WA.</charliebrown>
i From: i Date: April 8th, 2004 10:12 am (UTC) (permalink)
he refused to roll around on the floor or tip over the chair, but he did put his face up to the camera right away.
bandicoot From: bandicoot Date: April 8th, 2004 11:09 am (UTC) (permalink)
When I said, "Stand on head", he tried but failed ;)
aaangyl From: aaangyl Date: April 8th, 2004 11:54 am (UTC) (permalink)
He did the macarena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLEE!!!
ldy From: ldy Date: April 8th, 2004 12:09 pm (UTC) (permalink)
He can also tango, rhumba (same as tango), hula, cabbage patch, and electric slide. He foxtrots unhappily, but really seems to enjoy doing the hustle! He won't waltz for sh-t.

Sadly, his site died (or maybe it's something with my computer, but I can't access him any more) before I could ask him to do the running man, bunny hop, salsa, cha cha, YMCA, twist, locomotion, jitterbug, mambo, merengue, swing, jig, or hora. Bummer!

Oh, and he can do the chicken dance, too. But it's not like the chicken dance we know.
12 tall tales or Tell me a story