I have fifteen fucking things I have to do before my boss gets here in fifteen minutes.
Everything's being left 'til the last minute, and I have to pick up the pieces. I'm NOT liking my job right now.
(*fifteen minutes later-- somehow, I've managed to keep up. but I'm still not happy. Another ten projects have landed in my lap somehow.)
Two hours later-- where the hell did those two hours go? I truly have no idea.
Z still wants a wireless system for his guitar, but are leaning towards the manufacturer I was drooling over last week. They have, however, opted for a different specific product. Which, guess what, has been discontinued. One vendor has it, but my thought is, if it's discontinued, it's probably discontinued for a reason, and getting it may be a bad idea. Will phone vendor later. Another item he wants can only be bought from a different vendor, and a third I have to drive for. And we need this shit by Friday. P was going to let it all go til tomorrow. For such a planner, he can be very lackadaisical sometimes.
We're getting all this guitar shit for Z's bday, and P wasn't planning on having Z bring up his guitar or his amp. Uhm, excuse me? WTF? Do you buy a kid a litebrite for xmas and not give him batteries? Jeez, louise. P may be a great dad (and seriously, he really really is), but sometimes I have to wonder if he thinks about things. Toys are to be played with, immediately. Unnecessarily delayed gratification is either cruel or just thoughtless.
Maybe I'm just more in tune with my inner child (heh, big surprise there, I know).
So anyway, now I have to make sure Z brings his guitar and find some place to rent an amp for the weekend, too.
Oh, and we're having his sister, brother-in-law and their kids over for a party Friday. I've never met them before. Did I mention my house is a wreck? Did I mention the fact that I have rehearsals all fucking week? I still haven't painted. Hell, I don't even have fucking curtains, a year after moving in. But having people over is preferable to imposing on people I don't even know.
I'm just hating my life right now. Grrr.
Please make it stop. I prefer to be happy :(
I want a job that doesn't fucking consume me.
I want a home I can feel comfortable enough to really move into, that also doesn't consume me.
I want people to stop dumping their shit into my lap.
I just want to shut the fuck down and be taken care of for awhile. Is that so much to ask?
Yes, ldy; yes it is. Keep a movin'. In the ten minutes it's taken to type this, more shit has piled up for you.
Sigh. I honestly shouldn't complain. Let's face it-- stuff is dumped into my lap for a reason, and usually the reason is a good one. I'm very capable and totally up to the tasks ahead, even if I do really want a nap. The work shit will all end soon enough one way or another, and the benefits of the boy's birthday definitely outweigh the costs.
But my inner child is tired and cranky, my inner general appears to be awol, and my inner executive is probably off playing golf.
Which leaves my goshdarned inner Bartleby, who won't leave the fucking window.
Inner ME says get the hell off your butt, we've got things to do.
I grabbed a coffee and a scone, emailed Sennheiser about the wireless system, and called Drome sound about renting an amp. As I was doing that, my bookkeeper informed me that she just so happened to have a mixer and amp in her van, and would I like to borrow them? And then P called just to say he loved me.
See, it all works out in the end. If you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
Don't forget to breathe.