When I first quit smoking nearly a month ago, I decided to use the Nicotrol patch system. The patches really did help-- the cravings were virtually nonexistent. But before long, I discovered that those 15mg patches were making me crazy.

"I don't need to stay on that stupid 15mg patch for eight weeks," thought I, "I'll just bump down to 10mg after two!"

So I did. And all was good.

Yesterday, after about ten days of using the 10mg patch, I wanted to bump it down again. Since I had the day off, and had slept in all day, I figured I'd just go cold turkey.

Doing without the patch makes me stupid. I was superstupid all last night. The Poet kept talking about moving and cohabitation and marriage and babies and other big life stuff. I bought a bottle of wine with dinner to disguise my stupidity and kept the conversation moving with brilliant material like "Hey! Look at that... that thing over there while I pour you more wine and subtly change the topic to something innocuous, like cheese!"

(Btw, I think I may have committed myself to getting provoloned on the fourth of swiss in cheddar gouda, but I'm not completely certain.)

Today I had no bottles of wine to come to my rescue. I had to work.

Things were going reasonably well. Then suddenly, without any explanation, I bit my boss's ear off.

There was blood everywhere! I made the office administrator clean it all up, then had her run around outside looking for random dogs for me to kick.

Two daschunds, a poodle and a rabid chipmunk later, I set fire to my desk. I began praying to strange gods and singing Black Sabbath songs in pig latin at the top of my lungs.

I started getting a little worried about this. After all, I have performances tomorrow through Sunday! I can just see it now...

Oberon: Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.
Titania: What, jealous Oberon; you fucking fairy dickwad. You can't have the damned changling child and that's that. Skip to the end of the play, I'm going out for drinks. Onay oremay Arway Igpay-atinlay avehay ethay owerpay! Buhbye!

Long story longer-- after going nearly two full days sans patch, I finally broke down. I didn't smoke; heck, I didn't even slap-on one of the 10mg patches I had left. I did go out and get a box of the 5mg ones, though.

So instead of being happy that I've quit and taking a ten week program to addictionfree living, I'm pissed off that I couldn't condense the process into three weeks. It's gonna take four, maybe even *gasp* five.

Oh, well; at least I'm sane. (Stop laughing.)

Stupid addiction. You die now.

Hm, now what the heck happened to my desk?

I'm feeling all kinds of: better, thanks!
What I hear: Planet Sleeps - Schlafe Mein Prinzchen, Schlaf Ein - Michelle