"I don't need to stay on that stupid 15mg patch for eight weeks," thought I, "I'll just bump down to 10mg after two!"
So I did. And all was good.
Yesterday, after about ten days of using the 10mg patch, I wanted to bump it down again. Since I had the day off, and had slept in all day, I figured I'd just go cold turkey.
Doing without the patch makes me stupid. I was superstupid all last night. The Poet kept talking about moving and cohabitation and marriage and babies and other big life stuff. I bought a bottle of wine with dinner to disguise my stupidity and kept the conversation moving with brilliant material like "Hey! Look at that... that thing over there while I pour you more wine and subtly change the topic to something innocuous, like cheese!"
(Btw, I think I may have committed myself to getting provoloned on the fourth of swiss in cheddar gouda, but I'm not completely certain.)
Today I had no bottles of wine to come to my rescue. I had to work.
Things were going reasonably well. Then suddenly, without any explanation, I bit my boss's ear off.
There was blood everywhere! I made the office administrator clean it all up, then had her run around outside looking for random dogs for me to kick.
Two daschunds, a poodle and a rabid chipmunk later, I set fire to my desk. I began praying to strange gods and singing Black Sabbath songs in pig latin at the top of my lungs.
I started getting a little worried about this. After all, I have performances tomorrow through Sunday! I can just see it now...
Oberon: Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.
Titania: What, jealous Oberon; you fucking fairy dickwad. You can't have the damned changling child and that's that. Skip to the end of the play, I'm going out for drinks. Onay oremay Arway Igpay-atinlay avehay ethay owerpay! Buhbye!
Long story longer-- after going nearly two full days sans patch, I finally broke down. I didn't smoke; heck, I didn't even slap-on one of the 10mg patches I had left. I did go out and get a box of the 5mg ones, though.
So instead of being happy that I've quit and taking a ten week program to addictionfree living, I'm pissed off that I couldn't condense the process into three weeks. It's gonna take four, maybe even *gasp* five.
Oh, well; at least I'm sane. (Stop laughing.)
Stupid addiction. You die now.
Hm, now what the heck happened to my desk?
