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I've been smoke-free for... well, awhile now. Three anna half weeks? Yup. - Ldy, the lemony, ligerish ducttaparian's Magic Treehouse of Lost Thoughts
A classy broad's life... with footnotes.
ldy
ldy
I've been smoke-free for... well, awhile now. Three anna half weeks? Yup.
When I first quit smoking nearly a month ago, I decided to use the Nicotrol patch system. The patches really did help-- the cravings were virtually nonexistent. But before long, I discovered that those 15mg patches were making me crazy.

"I don't need to stay on that stupid 15mg patch for eight weeks," thought I, "I'll just bump down to 10mg after two!"

So I did. And all was good.

Yesterday, after about ten days of using the 10mg patch, I wanted to bump it down again. Since I had the day off, and had slept in all day, I figured I'd just go cold turkey.

Doing without the patch makes me stupid. I was superstupid all last night. The Poet kept talking about moving and cohabitation and marriage and babies and other big life stuff. I bought a bottle of wine with dinner to disguise my stupidity and kept the conversation moving with brilliant material like "Hey! Look at that... that thing over there while I pour you more wine and subtly change the topic to something innocuous, like cheese!"

(Btw, I think I may have committed myself to getting provoloned on the fourth of swiss in cheddar gouda, but I'm not completely certain.)

Today I had no bottles of wine to come to my rescue. I had to work.

Things were going reasonably well. Then suddenly, without any explanation, I bit my boss's ear off.

There was blood everywhere! I made the office administrator clean it all up, then had her run around outside looking for random dogs for me to kick.

Two daschunds, a poodle and a rabid chipmunk later, I set fire to my desk. I began praying to strange gods and singing Black Sabbath songs in pig latin at the top of my lungs.

I started getting a little worried about this. After all, I have performances tomorrow through Sunday! I can just see it now...
Oberon: Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.
Titania: What, jealous Oberon; you fucking fairy dickwad. You can't have the damned changling child and that's that. Skip to the end of the play, I'm going out for drinks. Onay oremay Arway Igpay-atinlay avehay ethay owerpay! Buhbye!

Long story longer-- after going nearly two full days sans patch, I finally broke down. I didn't smoke; heck, I didn't even slap-on one of the 10mg patches I had left. I did go out and get a box of the 5mg ones, though.

So instead of being happy that I've quit and taking a ten week program to addictionfree living, I'm pissed off that I couldn't condense the process into three weeks. It's gonna take four, maybe even *gasp* five.

Oh, well; at least I'm sane. (Stop laughing.)

Stupid addiction. You die now.

Hm, now what the heck happened to my desk?

I'm feeling all kinds of: better, thanks!
What I hear: Planet Sleeps - Schlafe Mein Prinzchen, Schlaf Ein - Michelle

11 tall tales or Tell me a story
Comments
darryn From: darryn Date: July 23rd, 2003 02:33 pm (UTC) (permalink)
Be careful, pouring more wine has often led to more baby conversations.
keethrax From: keethrax Date: July 23rd, 2003 02:35 pm (UTC) (permalink)
Well 10mg-5mg is still progress, and fast progress at that.

Be careful you don't go too fast and such. It's for the rest of your life, take the time you need to make sure its a permanent change.

Keep it up, you'll make it.
aetius From: aetius Date: July 23rd, 2003 02:41 pm (UTC) (permalink)
Thank you for this.

I needed a reason to laugh, and your gentle mockery of self was just the ticket.
doeadear From: doeadear Date: July 23rd, 2003 03:14 pm (UTC) (permalink)
*Taps you on your smoke-free shoulder"
bandicoot From: bandicoot Date: July 23rd, 2003 03:29 pm (UTC) (permalink)
Our bodies get habituated to the effects of drugs like caffeine and nicotine, so when you quit dosing yourself, it takes awhile for the body to quit compensating for the effect of a drug it's no longer getting. Be patient - you're doing great ;)
From: thisquietlife Date: July 23rd, 2003 05:24 pm (UTC) (permalink)
oh, that's hilarious

it really is

i stopped smoking by getting pregnant

seriously
frostbyte From: frostbyte Date: July 23rd, 2003 05:26 pm (UTC) (permalink)
I've been sorta waiting for you to reach this point...

All I can tell you is that this is the critical point. If you can get through the next couple weeks smoke-free, you've gotten through the very worst part of withdrawal. It DOES get easier - it just takes a little while longer to be detoxified.

Hang in there. Breathing is a very very good thing. Trust me.
chezmax From: chezmax Date: July 23rd, 2003 05:30 pm (UTC) (permalink)
you fucking fairy dickwad

*snigger*
inspectorjury From: inspectorjury Date: July 23rd, 2003 08:49 pm (UTC) (permalink)
May you live in Chedder bliss.
billijean From: billijean Date: July 23rd, 2003 08:52 pm (UTC) (permalink)
hehhhe :)
Whatever you do... keep laughing. Sometimes it is the only way to keep from crying.

I'm so proud of you!
duinlas From: duinlas Date: July 23rd, 2003 09:56 pm (UTC) (permalink)
so I guess I can throw away the masks I bought for when we meet, your breath won't smell like the exhaust pipe of a 88 Chevy Diesel!

oh wait, you've visited CANADA. SARS WOMAN!
11 tall tales or Tell me a story