January 1st, 2010

rubbah and horns

(no subject)

Don't think I've had a worse nye, and don't think I've felt more alone than this. Damn you, david h, for diminishing my options. Guess I'll have to prevail somehow.

I will stop crying, and I will continue my drive home. And tomorrow will be better.

It has to be.

Ps: (yes, I realize theres no s to p), P sitting in the driveway with his "date" for the past twenty minutes with the motor running? Surprisingly, not helping.


Today didn't begin well, but my outlook has improved considerably.

This, all... THIS... will work itself out. Somehow.

And for all my kvetching and misery at the beginning and end of the evening, I did have a good bit of fun in between, and enjoyed the company of a number of wonderful, generous friends. I have pictures to prove it! That's the part I'll take with me, the part I'll remember.

It's time to let go of the past and embrace the future. I don't know exactly what that future holds (and lord, the uncertainty is maddening!), but somewhere within it lies wonderful surprises for me.

I was planning on heading to the goth club tonight (I've never been-- it's only on Fridays, and I ususally work... plus, there's an event there tonight), but I'm dog-tired, and have no idea who else is going, and don't want to just hang by myself, observing. Some days that's fun, but it's probably not the best idea for tonight. It's a shame, too... my Fridays are booked for two months or more, so it may be some time before I'm actually able to go.

Well, we'll see. Maybe I'll change my mind. Life is short, and I'm inclined to live it, and live it as largely and as joyfully as I possibly can... I believe I'll take a shower and think gothy thoughts and see what happens.

Ironic that I'm considering going to goth night as my mostly-normal mostly-joyful self, when my angry black soul has so recently been deep in the dark miasma of despair. But I love irony, so perhaps it's only fitting.

Thanks for all the love, folks. It most certainly helped.



PS: 2010? You will rock. I shall make you!
PPS: Uhoh, can I even drive in those boots? Yes, THOSE boots. Heck, do I even have time to put them on? Probably not on both counts. We may give it a go anyway.