September 7th, 2003


dump and carry on


Wanted to catch up with comments earlier, but LJ appeared to be down.

Spent a chunk of today crying. Spending time with M today helped, but I'm still upset.

Why do things have to be so hard sometimes?

Do you know what it's like to buy a house, get involved in big projects for a year that make it difficult to get anything done, then finally have a summer/fall to make your house your home and discover that you'll be out of town every third weekend, and might have to leave it altogether anyway? Fuck. I don't even have curtains. Should I even bother at this point?

I barely have the energy right now to mow the grass, my time is all spoken for, and all my money has gone to or is going towards bloody travel.

Somehow, however, I have to figure out how to fix the water problem in the bathroom, replace the basement windows and stain the sills by next weekend.

I shouldn't complain. I know. I really have very little to complain about. I am very blessed, indeed.

But sometimes things are still hard.

Gotta put away groceries and mow the lawn now before I lose the light.

I don't expect I'll be around much this week. Hope you are all well and happy.
  • Current Music
    runny mascara - the sinking suns
rubbah and horns

(no subject)

You know what?

To hell with it.

I don't have enough energy to mow the lawn right now.*

I'm going to relax for a little bit, then make some sea scallops and broccoli for dinner.

Seriously, I don't know why I'm so upset.

It'll pass... but I'll be extra nice to myself 'til it does.

And if that means letting the house and lawn go to pieces, so be it.

* for the record, I mow my lawn with one of these
** and ten weeks later, I still get the urge to smoke sometimes. go figure.
  • Current Music
    crickets chirping