March 10th, 2001


Hey, man-- where'd you get that lotion? I've been hurting since I bought that gimmick...

I'm embarassed to admit this, but...
I've had sex on the brain for two days.*

* Note: This is not generally recommended, as the brain is too soft and fragile an organ to sustain direct weight or sudden movement. Should you consider engaging in such recreation, experts suggest the use of a bed, couch, chair, trapeze!, ottoman, decorative fountain, haystack, seesaw!, La-Z-Boy™ recliner, tree stump, swing!, countertop, car hood, kiddie pool, airplane lavatory!, desk, hallway, confessional!, sand bar, meadow, elevator!, tool shed, jungle gym!, roof, basement, hammock!, park bench, rocking horse!, coffee table, blanket, tarmac!, embankment, dock, gym floor, fence!, dresser, beach, boss's desk! lawn, sushibar!, sink, boat, escalator!, bookcase, trampoline!, home gym, swimming pool, department store's revolving door!, backyard, vat of jello™!, snowbank, restaurant booth!, shower, woodpile, medicine ball!, hope chest, tree!, tub, boardwalk, national monument!, copier, floor, wall, or ceiling!, instead.

! Warning: not suggested for beginners.

Oh, and please leave Pinky out of this... ; )

It has been brought to my attention that my list was considerably lacking. Please feel free to suggest additions as necessary. Thank you.
--The Management
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    Iggy Pop - Lust For Life