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Ldy, the lemony, ligerish ducttaparian's Magic Treehouse of Lost Thoughts
A classy broad's life... with footnotes.
ldy
I installed Thief today! It looks like fun!

Oh, dear-- it won't run without upgrading my well-loved and adored1 Intel 810 chipset with the drivers for the newer ver. of M$ DirectX Well I can just hop over to HP and get that!

::after much-- too much-- searching, downloads and runs said driver update::

"An error occurred during the move data process: -113" Eh?
Mumblegrumblesearchthedatabase. Nuttin'... let's just rename the file to its original name (my system adds a [1] to the name sometimes, even if there is not a pre-existing file)
Oh, yay!2 Why, heck, that was almost too easy!
So I restart... but Thief still doesn't run!
Oh... New ver. of DirectX isn't showing in display properties, so let's fix that. ::does so and restarts::
BOOM. NO DISPLAY. AT ALL WHATSOEVER. NO SIGNAL. ACK.
Oh, the nice and helpful people at HP will come to my rescue!1
After laughing for awhile, and wiping the tears from my eyes, I called them anyway. First guy said my warrantee was up and I'd have to pay $25 for help : / "May I please speak to your supervisor?" Supervisor (Ricardo) repeated same. There was much conversing! Oh, yes, indeedy. But ultimately, no help. He pointed me to the disclaimer buried within the site, then to the 900# that would give me tech support for the same $25, but without having to be charged long-distance. Sigh.

Hey! Let's start in SAFEMODE! :D

Uh-oh... it's NOT A GOOD SIGN when SAFEMODE gives you the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH...

Let's RESTART in UNSAFEMODE! :D scandisk... OK...

BOOM. NO DISPLAY. AT ALL WHATSOEVER. NO SIGNAL. ACK.

CTRL-ALT-DEL; CTRL-ALT-DEL mumblemumblekeyboard's frozen...
Hardboot... scandisk... SAFEMODE
Mmm... this might be a good time for TEA :)

This short break courtesy of Celestial Seasoning's® Tension Tamer Tea... you know the one, with the Nice Lady riding the Dragon. (Yup, that's me. And nope, I'm not elaborating on which one.)

Ah. Much better. ^_^

If I listed all I did over the past few hours to rectify this situation, this entry would be terribly lengthy6. So suffice it to say that I (in no particularly order)...
::swam through logs::3
::restarted in SAFEMODE::3
::restarted in UNSAFEMODE::3
::CTRL-ALT-DEL; CTRL-ALT-DEL::3
::hardbooted::3
::softbooted::3
::cursed in several languages::3
::reviewed backup startup files::3
::compared backups to current::3
::cursed in English, exclusively::
::reinstalled adapters::
::changed adapters::
::et4 a cookie5::
::uninstalled Thief::
::reinstalled old adapter::
::read uninstall info from Intel, which said to install the old adapter : P::
::discovered the monitor did not seem to exist in the computer's world at all, and thus was likely merely a heavy and space-hogging fragment of my own imagination::
::mucked about with MSCONFIG::3
::mucked about with the registry::
::forced VGA::
::restarted step-by-step diagnostic mode::3
::mucked about MSINFO32::
::changed refresh rate, hardware accelleration, etc.::
::furrowed brow, got wrinkles::3

I was THIS CLOSE to using my "Phone a friend" when I said "Screw it! Delete 'em all, let M$ sort them out!"
Which I did. (click, click-- byebye, monitor! so long, adapter!)
And it worked.2
(M$ is such a control freak) : P

    So, I sincerely hope you have learned through my little folly that you should:
  • Buy your next computer from HP1

  • Use Microsoft Windows as your operating-system-of-choice1

  • Troubleshoot windows problems logically, relating the likely solution to its probable cause
  • 1
  • Spend a lot of time on your computer, especially when you're really sick1

  • Keep cookies and tea on-hand for emergencies at all times!2

In other news, yes, I'm still sick... but sheer terror and massive frustration really help to take one's mind away from that! ; ) I still haven't gotten caught up with entries... uncertain if I ever will at this point.

And before I forget, I really must thank the Powers-that-Be for giving me a great sense of humour and immediate access to cookies and tea, instead of cigarettes and automatic weaponry.

Oh, lookee... there might be a problem with my Direct3d memory usage, which would make Thief unplayable on this system anyway!

...and I'm out of cookies and Tension Tamer Tea...

Before I go out on a killing spree with my friend, Mr. Winston, back to bed, allow me to welcome curtis to the madness that is my ammocase, er, belltower, gah-- JOURNAL. Oh, nevermind. : P Pleased ta meetcha, Curtis :)

1 Sarcasm.
2 Happy Dance.
3 Repeated several times, on several occasions.
4 Petit Chou reminded me how much I enjoyed this word in one of her recent entries.
5 Peanutbutter-Oatmeal-FancyChocolateChip, created for and received by yours truly as partial payment for computer consulting :D I figured it must have magical properties. And it did. ::#name cookie: Cookie of Sanity Keeping::
6 Yes, this number was out of order. But I wanted to note that I did actually write down every step I took so that I didn't troubleshoot myself into a downward spiral. The handwriting DID get a bit scary at times, however.
7 I realize there really isn't a 7. But I had to let you know that windows crashed most cacophonously just as I had finished editing this entry, meaning I had to redo every single change I had made (oh, and there were a bunch of 'em, too). Hey, wasn't there a movie called Smith and Wesson and Phillip and Morris? Oh, nm. : P THANK YOU TOLEDO AND GOODNIGHT!

I'm feeling all kinds of: crazy crazy
What I hear: German Ernie - Rubber Duckie (german techno)

21 tall tales or Tell me a story
ldy
l'm a badass lady in pigtails and leather!!

"Dormando has this awesome idea that could really go a long way towards helping solidify the livejournal community and perhaps give us a little jump ahead of Those Other Guys...

"Check out his thoughts re: LJ Radio... And do link to it/spread the word, if you think you know of people who can help, or who might be interested!

"Otherwise I'll start whipping you with this thing that looks like a simple whip, but is really a mind-numbing and thoroughly eville cat toy!

"Get to it, you naughty sailors! Do not disappoint me!!"

heheh
Thanks : )

I'm feeling all kinds of: dominaughty
What I hear: Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax (Sex Mix)

4 tall tales or Tell me a story